Tonglen

Most of us flinch from suffering and reach for comfort. Tonglen turns the movement around. On the in-breath you take in the pain of the world, and on the out-breath you send back relief. It is a bold and tender practice, and it breaks open the walls of the self.

OriginsThe Root of the Practice

Tonglen, which means giving and receiving, came to Tibet with the great master Atisha in the eleventh century, and it was gathered into the mind-training teachings of Langri Tangpa and Chekawa. Pema Chodron has carried it to countless modern students. Its spirit is the spirit of the cross: love that takes on suffering and gives back life. Wherever love is deepest, it runs toward the wound.

The WayWhat the Practice Teaches

The heart is larger than fear says it is. In tonglen you breathe in heaviness, imagined as hot, dark, and thick, and you breathe out light, imagined as cool, bright, and spacious. You begin with your own pain, then open to a loved one’s, then to the pain of all who suffer as you do. The mind stops guarding. What you feared would crush you instead becomes the very ground of compassion.

BeginHow to Practice

1. Rest in a moment of stillness and open the mind like a clear sky.
2. Bring to mind a person or a pain that needs care.
3. Breathe in their suffering, heavy and dark, through every pore of your body.
4. Breathe out comfort, ease, and light, sending it freely to them.
5. Stay with the rhythm. If the heart tightens, breathe in the tightness too.
6. Widen to all beings who share this same suffering, and close in stillness.

HarvestThe Fruit

Fear loses its edge. The line between you and others grows thin. You become a person who can stay in the room with grief, and that presence is itself a gift to the world.